Report: Heath Ledger is Still Dead

It was confirmed earlier today that Australian heartthrob Heath Ledger is still dead. The Australian actor died two days more than two years ago today. Sources report the Australian is and has been dead ever since he originally died. Sources were unable to confirm whether or not the Australian Heath Ledger would remain dead in the immediate future. Updates will be reported as soon as they become available. Stay tuned.




Heath Ledger as the Joker in "The Dark Knight" with Christian Bale.

Heath Ledger could not be reached for comment.

Sources: Yes, many sources.

Pepsi Cola Gave Me 20 Bucks to Put This on My Blog

Although I think it tastes like flat sugar water, they sent me a check and I have to pay alimony to my whore of an ex-wife.

Sharol, if you're reading this, go fuck yourself. You took the best years of my life that I'll never get back ever again. Especially now that I have to give you all my fucking money. You shouldn't be getting anything if you've already remarried, that's just retarded. You probably slept with the judge, I wouldn't be surprised. Why can't you leave me and my money alone? Do I have to fake my own death? Do I have to cause my real death? Is that what it'll take? Haven't you taken enough from me? Fuck you!

Tea Party protesters couldn't be reached for comment.