My Bloody Valentine Finally Release New Album!

The Irish shoegazing band has released their third LP, their first since 1991's critically acclaimed Loveless. The shoegazer album was one of the most influential records of all time, and fans have been eagerly awaiting the release of a followup with much anticipation.

Fans all over the United States have shown much interest in the new record, as I have concluded from my inquiries. I spoke with self-proclaimed "huge fan" Abigail Lucas, 25, of Louisville, Kentucky on her thoughts.

My Bloody Valentine's Loveless

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I'm listening to it. I'm done getting my hopes up about that fucking band. Who takes that long just to release something they probably finished 90% of in 1992? They'd rather re-release the same album over and over with slightly louder bass or clearer vocals and claim it's remastered. There's only so much you can remaster with a bunch of fucking noise."

Obviously she was on the rag so I asked 16 year old Mark Johnson of Warren, Michigan for his thoughts on My Bloody Valentine.
"Oh, My Bloody Valentine? That was my shit! Are they really making another one? Remember that part when the guy hits the guy with an ax and his eyeball pops out and gets stuck on the ax? That shit was awesome I threw up every time."

I wasn't entirely sure what he was going on about but everyone enjoys music in their own way. I tend to visualize sunsets and meteors flying by in the night sky when listening to My Bloody Valentine but that's just me.

Surviving Members Bilinda Butcher and Kevin Shields

The question remains; will our patience be proven to have been worth it? Will My Bloody Valentine satisfy the aching need for a masterful third shoelookeratter album, or will there be riots in the streets? Stay Tuned.

Kevin Shields could not be reached for comment.