Local Man: "I Almost Decided to Kill Jack Ruby".

A local man, who prefers to remain anonymous, claims he considered shooting Lee Harvey Oswald's killer, Jack Ruby, after learning of the assassination of John F. Kennedy's assassin on November 4th, 1963.

I sat down with the local man in his quaint local home. In our interview, he explained: "It pissed me off the way he went and shot Oswald like that. You just don't take the law into your own hands like that. It's despicable, doing something like that."
The local man, formally local to Dallas Texas, where the shooting took place, went on to say that what stopped him from going through with the assassination was his love for his children. "I couldn't go through with it knowing I may not had been able to see my children grow up. I didn't want to rot in a prison cell while they lived their lives. That was very important to me." Furthermore on why he didn't kill the man who got revenge on the man who killed JFK, he explained was that he "kinda liked Kennedy" and thought his wife, Jackolynn, was "scorchin' hot". He explained in his own words: "I loved Jackie. I pleasured myself to her daily, so there was a lot of sentimental stuff there." I cut him off at that point because this is, of course, a family blog.

Pictured left: Oswald and Ruby's part-time and short-lived rock n roll band "The Sheriff and The Shootas".







President Barack Obama couldn't be reached for comment.